A Bittersweet Depature
by NeverShoutGia
Summary: An Eclare fanfic, what happens four years after Eli break's up with Clare after he graduates? What happens when they meet again? Summary sucks. Story's gonna be great!
1. Fresh Birthday Girl

*** I do not own Degrassi, or anything. Just my story. (: **

**A/N: So this is my first story ever! If you didn't read the summary already, it's an Eclare fanfic about Eli breaking up with Clare right after he graduated. Hope you like it :') by the way, it's Clare's POV!**

_"Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet."_

4 Years.

It's been four years.

Since I saw those green eyes, that mind-blowing smirk.

Since I heard that chuckle, that voice, that always made my heart beat slow and fast at the same time.

Since I felt those lips, oh my. The only lip's that can make my breath drop as soon as they touch my sensitive skin.

I miss the tingles, I miss how he use to wrap his arms around me. I miss his smart attitude.

I miss being called Blue eyes. I miss being called my last name, with a smirk added.

I miss Eli Goldsworthy.

It's my third year in college, English major of course. Last time I heard from him was that dreadful June day. He was putting on an act the whole time, that fake smile. I could see it from miles away, but I didn't know the story behind it.

_"Clare. I'm sorry, but I-i can't do this."_

_"What do you mean Eli? I know college is going to be hard but we'll-"_

_He cut her off.- "No. Not that." _

_Clare was worried. She clenched the surprise gift she held behind her back for Eli's graduation."Then you can't do what?"_

_"Us. I can't- do long distance relationships." He looked her straight in the eye. "This was always the plan, we'd go our separate ways after I graduated." He looked away, the lies were bleeding out of him. He couldn't show it though, for Blue Eye's sake._

_Clare could feel the tear started to bottle up. "So I was just a high school thing for you? Good times until the real party started at college, hm? Thanks Elijah. Real mature." She threw the gift hard on the floor in front of where Eli stood. She walked away, not looking back._

_Eli bent down slowly picking up the small box, he opened it to find the small ring that he had known Clare for their whole lives of knowing each other, there was an addition to it though, he read the engravement, "__**Forever**__, my love." He clenched in the ring in his fist, slowing turning away to Morty. _

Clare opened her eyes slowly to the beeping alarm on her side table. She hit it gently and sat up, **October 16th. **Her birthday. But for obvious reason's Eli was on her mind as soon as she realized the date. She couldn't help it if she thought of him everyday, good and bad. Thoughts of their memories, the first day they met, English class, there first real kiss, his surprise birthday party for her, all the time they spent together, prom, their first time. But there is always the bad memories, and lately they have been taking over. It's been four years! Of course Eli has found someone better, older, more his type. Her heart ached everyday from those thoughts. But she still had to live her life, as best as she could.

Her phone beeped.

**Adam**: _Good morning, Happy Birthday Clare! Come to the dot, I have a surprise for you!_

Clare smiled lightly, Adam was her best friend, been there through thick and thin. The rough nights of tears, and just everything these past 4 years. She would truly of gone insane without him, with Alli's leaving Degrassi years ago, they grew distance and video chatting just wasn't enough. After graduation at her all girl's school, Alli went over to bigger and better things; in India.

Clare got up slowly and walked into the bathroom, she looked the same. Big blue eyes, short curly hair, a bit longer, but she always remembered how Eli loved it short. She cut it usually but lately she doesn't have time for anything. She turned on the shower and got in slowly, 20 minutes later she was dressed, hair blow-dried and the usual look. Light make-up and her favorite jean's and a light pink ruffle top with a gray sweater. She walked downstairs.

"Mom I'm going to the Dot to meet Adam!" she yelled while putting on her coat.

Her mom walked into the living room, "Happy Birthday Clare!" she smiled and hugged her tightly. Her mom was sixty percent back to herself, after the divorce she was a bit too much in her work but her and Clare couldn't be happier. Mr. Edwards and Eli's leavings were actually good things in one way, Clare got to reconnect with her mom again.

"Thanks mom, I'll be back soon." She kissed her mothers cheek and walked out the door.

**- At The Dot - **

Clare walked in slowly and turned her head to the right and saw Adam sitting there in the corner, usual spot, smiling wide. "Clare!" he shouted and motioned for her to come over.

Clare walked over smiling. "Hey Adam, so where's this surprised?"

"Not just where, but also when." He smiled pulling out two ticket's to **another **Dead Hand's reunion concert.

"Oh, wow. Dead Hand." Clare liked Dead Hand, but that was Eli's favorite band, it brought back way too many memories. "I don't know.."

"Come on Clare! Please! It's tonight, at 7. You know you love them!" Adam was just like the kid he was, 4 years ago. Instead he was dating Fiona Coyne, and it was getting pretty intense.

Clare sighed, she didn't wanna turn down her best friend's birthday surprise. "Fine, I'll go." She faked a smile once again and took one ticket. "7-sharp."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Fiona's coming too!" Adam smiled like a goof when he said her name.

"Great, I can't wait." Clare smiled wide and help but wonder what tonight's gonna be like.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to-Clare-from-Adam, Happy birthday to you!" Two workers from the Dot came out and placed a stack of pancakes on the table with a candle on top, I smiled wide at Adam and blew out my candle making a wish.

Clare wished: _"I wish I could see that mind-blowing smirk, once again."_

**A/N: Sorry! I know this sucked & it's short, but it's the first one! I really don't think I'll get like any review's since I'm just getting this out, but if you are reading this. Thank you! **

**More to come. Hope you liked it :D**

**- Gianna (:**


	2. Wishes do come true

*** I do not own anything but the story. (:**

**A/N: You guys have no idea how excited I was to write this! I was going to do it last night but I was so tired, so here it is! Hope you like it. I'm surprised on how many of you did like it! Thank you!**

**Clare's POV**

_"Love is like falling down... in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever."_

It was 6:11, it would take a good 45 minutes to get to where Dead Hand was playing, I was wondering where Adam was.

6:16, Adam drove up to my drive way and beeped, I got into the car actually excited to be spending my birthday night with my best friend.

"Hey Adam!" I smiled, I was wearing black skinny jeans, with the usual black and white converse and surprising, Eli's old Dead Hand shirt.

Adam starred at the shirt. "Eli's..?"

I was quiet, "Yeah. Had it in my hamper, thought I'd just wear it.." I turned on the music full blast and looked out the window, gently moving my foot to the music.

Adam didn't say a word and backed out of the driveway and started to drive.

6:58, We ran into the Cafe holding the concert, not to there surprised it was packed of Dead Hand long time fans. We could barely hear anything through the opening act's hardcore music. I looked to Adam who was smiling wide and already jumping to the music. I laughed and started jumping with him. After a 20 minute wait, it was time. Dead Hand came out and starting playing their music. The music blasted through our ears, bringing back too many memories.

_Eli was blasting Dead Hand in his room, dancing and singing, an act to make Clare smile. _

_Clare giggled and watched as her boyfriend made a complete fool to his hardcore music, Clare liked when he did this, it made her feel like it was just Eli and her forever. She got up and started moving to the music with Eli, he wrapped his arms around her slowly and kissed her in the motion of the music. She felt free._

"CLARE!" shouted Adam.

I jumped and looked at Adam, the music was still playing loud as ever.

"YOU HAVING FUN?" he smiled jumping to the music.

"TON'S ADAM! BUT I'M GOING TO GO USE THE BATHROOM!" I laughed at his energy as once again a 16 year old boy.

"OKAY" he screamed and turned his head to the band and stuck his hands in the air. "WOOOOO! I LOVE DEAD HAND!"

I laughed and pushed my way towards the bathroom's. I walked into one of the stall's and did my business, after I walked out of the stall and washed my hands, and fixed up my hair, it was a frizzy mess, and I needed it cut, badly. I laughed gently remembering how much Eli loved- I stopped herself.

"No, It's your birthday, no more thinking about him." I walked out of the bathroom and the music filled my ear's once again. I could feel my phone vibrating, I looked down for a split second and felt a thump against myself. Someone had walked into me and made me drop my phone.

I bent down slowly not looking at the person and spoke slowly. "Sorry I wasn't watching where I was-"

"Clare?"

I stood up slowly after picking up my phone and faced the mystery person. "Eli?"

There he was, and yes of course with that smirk on his face.

"Clare! Oh wow, it's been so long!" he pulled me gently into a hug.

All I could think was, _'Wow.. wishes do work.'_

I laughed gently. "Yea! Too long." I hugged back gently and pulled away.. awkward.

"What are you doing here?" He asked slightly talking a bit too loud because of the music.

Me, being still in shock, spoke slowly, I couldn't take this in. "Oh, it's my birthday, so Adam got the ticket's for a present."

"oh, Happy Birthday! I can't believe you're still friends with Adam after all these years, I haven't talked to him in what, 2 years?"

Wow, I was hurt. He had contact with Adam, but never me. He forgot my birthday. After that big surprise party he threw for the year right before he left.

_Clare giggled. "Eli what are you doing!" All she could see was black._

_"You'll see Edwards, now keep that blind fold on." He guided her slowly._

_Clare felt a breeze against her soft skin she knew they were outside, somewhere._

_"Okay... 1 ... 2 ... 3!" Eli took off her blind fold._

_"SURPRISE!" everyone shouted. It was a party, a party for Clare. She was right, outside at the park, right near the tree they had there first-semi-kiss. Alli was there, Adam, her mom and dad! Fiona, Delcan, KC and Jenna with her new baby Tommy. Even Darcy! She felt the tear's come on._

_"Oh Blue eyes.." Eli stood in front of her, "Did you not want this?" He frowned slowly._

_"No no no! I love it Eli, you do all of this?" She smiled wide, looking into his eyes._

_He smirked, oh that smirk. "Just for you, now.. go say hi to your guests!" He chuckled and kissed her forehead slowly._

"Clare?" said Eli.

I snapped out of her memories. "Oh, sorry, I didn't catch that."

He smirked.. again. "I said, I see that you're wearing my old Dead Hand shirt."

I blushed slowly and looked at his torn up shirt. "Yeah, thought it was right to wear."

"Typical Edwards, always has to be like in-crowd." I chuckled softly, moving this lips slowly. God please help me, I had such an urge to grab them and kiss them.

"Well, how's college." I asked changing the subject.

"Great! I graduated a year early actually, Advance English major, actually started a band too. We've done some gig's on campus and such, nothing too big. I have my own section in a newspaper too. Yourself?" It seemed like that smirk just never went away.

"English major as well, nothing really big, went to Kenya for a little after I graduated to visit Darcy, then I just came home and lived a regular life." I shrugged, for that was the truth, except the part of obsessing over him for the past 4 years.

"That's great, well listen, I left some of my other band mates and I gotta get back to them but I'm moving back here, in November. I'd love to see you again, if you don't mind? Here." He grabbed my hand gently. His touch, I missed it so much on my sensitive skin.

He wrote down his 10 digits down on her hand and looked up into her eyes. "Still blue as ever." He whispered.

I pulled away my hand slowly and pushed my hair behind her ear. "Yeah um I'll call you." No she wouldn't.

"Great, so see you later.. Blue eyes." He walked away slowly back to where the concert was. Clare looked at him once last glance. He did look the same, jeans, black shirt, with his leather jacket, hand to the side and still pretty much the same. Just like years ago.

I could not believe what just happened. I looked at the number slowly. And punched it into her phone and saved it. "Eli."

I walked back into where the concert was slowly and back to Adam. The music was still playing loud.

"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?" asked Adam.

"Sorry. Just ran into an old friend."

"WHAT?" he wasn't even paying attention.

I laughed, I wanted to get Eli off my mind for the last few hour's of my birthday. "NOTHING!" I smiled and starting jamming to the music with my best friend.

**- Eli's POV. -**

Eli walked slowly back to his friend who were right next to the stage, screaming along to the music. It's been 4 years, and Clare was still old Clare. Her smile, her looks, her eyes. He would not be able to get Clare Edwards eye's out of his head for the rest of the night. This was going to be hard. But surprisingly, he didn't regret seeing Clare tonight, he was glad. All he could think about was the last encounter _he _had with her.

_Eli packed the last box into Morty. He all ready said his goodbyes to everyone, everyone but Clare. That evening at his graduation was not a goodbye. He played with the ring that was not attached to his favorite bracelet. He got into Morty and started to drive to Clare's house, as soon as he was about to turn the corner he saw Clare walk out of her house and towards the dot. He drove the back way to the dot and parked Morty in the alley. He got out of the car and walked into the dot, he beat Clare. He sat in the back so that Clare wouldn't see him when she came in. She walked in and sat at the front table. KC walked in about two minutes after and sat across from her. Eli couldn't watch any longer, he believed what he thought. He left through the back door and walked to Morty and drove as fast as he could. Sadly, his dumb act's lost him the love of his life._

**A/N: Wow, this sucked. Hahaha, it was a filler. I'm sorry. I know you all thought Adam was gonna make Eli a surprise? nope. I have great idea's for this series (:**

**- Gianna.**


	3. KC's Big Mouth

*** I do not own degrassi, trust me, if I did let's just say that Eclare would be in every single episode. **

**READ: hey guys! :D I'm so glad you all like it, even my typos. haha! well here's the next one like i promised. i'll get A LOT out during weekends, but week days maybe 3? still have school and debate and such, review? (:**

- A month later. **(Eli's POV) **

I had just finished with my last box in my mom's old house, she left it for me since she went back to our old town.

"Eli where do you want me to put your 'Childhood memories' box?" yelled Sophie from the back room.

"Just in the attic, thanks." Sophie was my 2nd cousin on my Mom's side. She had gone to same college as me but majored in a different area. I told her she could room with me for as long as she needed to get on her feet. She was a year older but we graduated at the same time. I was glad she was here, so I didn't feel so alone. I had texted Clare a few times, telling her I was in town. I wished she'd meet with me. But she said she's too busy. Wait- today's Sunday. I put on my classic smirk.

"Soph, I'm going out, be back later." I grabbed my keys and walked out of the house. Opened a new text message. Contacts: _Clare. _

**(Clare's POV)**

Eli moved back into his old house about a week ago. His mom left the house to him after she moved back to there hometown. I wonder if he's lonely. He's texted me a few times asking what I was up to. I always lied, of course. Being with him, would be to awkward, and the memories. Just, I'm not ready for all of that.

My felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I flipped it up slowly. Eli.

_Eli: _Hey Edwards, meet me at the dot in 10? Just like old times.

_Clare: _Sorry Eli, I can't.

_Eli: _Come on Clare, it's a Sunday afternoon, what could you be possibly doing?

I sighed slowly, I had to face this.

_Clare: _Give me 15.

_Eli: _Deal, can't wait. ;)

She shut her phone slowly and fell back onto her bed. Oh the thing's he does to her. She got up slowly and changed out of her normal relaxing Sunday outfit and into a pair of black leggings, a ruffle purple top, and a waist-belt to put it all off. She slipped on her flats and grabbed her jacket and was out the door.

**(Eli's POV)**

I sat silently in the dot looking at the window at the people walking by, I recognized some faces, surprised they were still here. I heard the drop open and turned to see who it was.

_KC. _Oh how I hated him ever since I heard what he did to my bl- to Clare. KC looked straight at me and started to walk over. I groaned softly so he wouldn't hear.

"Eli? Man, is that you?" KC was still the bone head as before.

I looked up slowly and smiled gently. "Yea, hey dude. It's been long."

"I'll say. Does Clare know you're back?" he looked around slowly.

"Yeah, she's meeting me. Are you guys still in touch?" he already knew the answer.

"Yea, she babysits Tommy for Jenna and I when we go out." he smiled looking like- he was really telling the truth.

"Wait- what? You got back with Jenna?" I was shocked.

"Yeah, after Tommy turned two Jenna and I knew it was best to give him a regular life, not like mine or her's. Missing parents. I love her, so we made it work. Who did you think I was with?" he chuckled.

Eli stuttered slowly. "Oh erm.. C-clare.. ?"

KC bused out in laughter. "Clare Edwards? No, never. Haha, man you've missed a lot. Didn't you know that Clare went completely solo after you left?"

"What? No." I was so confused.

"Yeah, after you left, all she did was wake up, go to school, and then graduate. She didn't even go to our Senior prom. Adam asked but she only came out for big event's like birthday's or when we asked her to babysit." KC was dead serious.

"W-wow. I had no idea." I felt like a complete ass.

"Open you're eyes man, she loved you." KC stood there for another minute, I was silent. "Well nice seeing you man, bye." he looked tense walking away. I wasn't surprised.

My phone vibrated gently. Wow. I bet this is Clare canceling, I opened my phone and saw 'New text message from: _Sophie_'

_Sophie_: Where are you?

_Eli_: The dot.

_Sophie_: Be there in 5.

_Eli_: Why?

_Sophie_: I'm bored! Come on cousin bonding time!

I groaned, perfect.

The door swung open slowly and I saw Clare walked in slowly looking for me. I stood up slowly and waved, her blue eyes caught me as she started to walk over, no expression.

"Hey Clare." I motioned for her to sit, she sat slowly and played with her hands quietly.

She spoke slowly. "E-eli... why?" she was looking down.

"Why what?"

"Why.. why did you come back?.. No." she looked up, but her blue eye's were flaming. "Why did you leave me. Why didn't you say goodbye." she started getting louder. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE, WHY DID YOU STOP LOVING ME. WHY ELI." I could see her tear's already, some people where staring.

I looked up at her, she was waiting for an answer. Honestly, I didn't have one. I grabbed her hand and started to play her out of the dot. She felt weak, like she didn't care what was about to happen now, she was like nothing. I was the cause of my angel's pain. I walked to the alley behind the dot and let go of her wrist, I started pacing.

She just stood there, tear's were falling, she was sobbing. Watching me as I paced. I stopped. Looked her straight in her eyes and cupped my hands around her face, rosy cheeks, I pulled her face closer. I could see how scared she was, so was I. I hope she could see how fucking scared I was. I mumbled the word's I think she had been waiting for.

"I love you." I leaned my head against her forehead slowly. She closed her eyes and broke down in tears. I hugged her silently, just letting her cry into my arms.

**(Clare's POV)**

I could _not _believe I was crying into the guy who left me, so broken. But then I could, I was still in love with Eli, he said those words.. so slowly, so freely, just like 4 years ago. I knew he meant it. I spoke slowly between my sobs. "I love you too." I held onto him tighter.

"Eli?" I heard a voice behind us. I stood up tall slowly to see a girl about 2 or 3 inches taller then me, she had long dark brown hair, a few freckles and hazel eyes.

Eli spoke. "Oh hey Soph, sorry. Sophie this is Clare, Clare this is Sophie. She's living with me..."

I couldn't believe it. I thought Eli would come back and tell me he was sorry, a billion times and that he loved me and everything would be perfect. But what was I thinking? It had been 4 years. Of course he had moved on. I laughed gently looking at Eli. He was not going to trick me this time.

"Real smooth Eli." I turned away and started to walk slowly.

"What? Clare!." I started to run and heard him chasing after me.

I heard the girl call him, but surprisingly he didn't stop. I ran all the way to the corner of the street then stopped, I was crying too hard I couldn't continue. He was there a split second later, holding me.

"C-clare!" he was out of breath. "Why did you run!"

"That girl! I'm not an idiot Eli! I didn't move on but obviously you did!" I was talking way too fast.

"What? Clare! Sophie is not my girlfriend! She's my cousin!" he was serious.

I felt like an idiot. "Y-your cousin?" I was looking at him, as his worried expression turned into that god loving smirk.

"Yeah. My cousin." he chuckled. "Clare." he brought me closer. "Trust me, I did not move on." And then he kissed me. That kiss, was so beautiful, so powerful, that I'm pretty sure it made up for those 4 years. I kissed back slowly, running my hand's through his hair.

No one knew how much I miss this.

**Reviews? Please :D & check out my new one-shots. 'Amazed' (:**

**-Gianna. **


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